I'm starting to feel a little guilty for feeling normal now. I'm getting condolences and commiserations from everyone at work, plus all the lovely comments on here and other social media, but I feel fine!!!
I know I won't feel this way in a months time, but still..........
Anyway, I went to see my consultant today. She really is a lovely lady, who I am sure is about 5 years younger than me(she makes me feel old anyway) and I've never met a doctor like her! She isn't patronising or condescending, but makes me feel at ease and entirely comfortable. We discussed my options again and we're definitely going for the skin saving mastectomy that I posted about last time.
I have to give up smoking(I know I should have anyway, years ago) so that the healing process isn't impeded, as there will no longer be any blood vessels going through my boob. The only ones left will be the small surface ones on the skin, so I have to do all I can to make sure that the flow isn't constricted. So that means no smoking, keeping my chest warm and keeping everything super clean. Worst case scenario is that I get a deep infection and the implant has to come out and I have to wait to months and months to have a new one put in. But that means the dreaded skin grafts from my back, which I really don't want!
So I'm going back to the GP to try the inhalator's again as I was nearly successful with them last time, and I use them at airports and on planes anyway. Faced with smoking or no boob has sort of decided me. I also lost out on the chance of a free tummy tuck as well, because of the smoking and healing issue. So if you know anyone who can't quit, you might want to pass that one on. One for the 'things they never tell you' list!
I've also been having a few dizzy spells. Hopefully it's just me getting over the bug I had last week, but the tested my BP anyway and it's perfectly normal, considering I was in a hospital and I usually get 'white coat' syndrome.
Thanks to some advice, on here and other sources, I'm going to stock up on Jergens paraben free lotion and Vitamin E cream so that I can keep my skin soft and looked after in the eventuality that I have radiotherapy. The Dr said its highly likely that it will damage my implant and I'll need it replaced when treatment is finished but that's another bridge to cross, along with a reduction on my other breast so that they match in size.
I've also done loads more clearing out. This time my shoe collection!!!! I have a bookcase in my hallway which was stuffed with shoes, and that has now been reduced by 3 recycling bags! No more stacking of shoe boxes, just one layer of shoes per shelf. Even my Prada trainers went but the 2 pairs of Miu Miu dolly shoes are safe in my wardrobe now. The kitchen has been slightly re-organised as well, with my Muji drawers full of nail polish now residing in the living room, where I do my nails anyway, and the kitchen table is finally clear of rubbish and sundry paperwork, with a lovely clean table cloth. Col's going to put up some shelves in there for me so I can get rid of the other sundry bits cluttering up the work surfaces.
Talking of nails, I did a pretty mani on Sunday night. I got some lovely OPI trios in TKMaxx for £14.99 and these are 2 of them. OPI On Air Perso-nail-ity and Y'all Come Back Ya Hear? on alternate fingers, and then some pretty water decals from Kiss that look like stained glass under daylight.
KKcentralHK in the past. Hing King, but fairly fast delivery and good service. They also sell all sorts of goodies, such as false eyelashes, brushes and hair accessories.
So a weird start to the week. I'm sort of hopeful, fearful, a little bored of waiting but also dreading it when it does all kick off. I do have the dentist tomorrow and a flu jab to look forward to though :/
Thanks for reading and all comments welcome as always.