Yesterday I was diagnosed with breast cancer
Not what you usually read on a beauty blog??
Even though I haven't been the best of bloggers; too infrequent, too reliant on website descriptions etc, I am going to try & improve, in the name of education.
Breast Cancer is NOT a death sentence. In fact it wasn't even mentioned once yesterday. The focus was on treatment & reconstruction; how to get me back to normal as soon as possible, in fact.
Yes there were tears,especially when the doctor said the 'mastectomy' word. Eeeep!
The doctor and the nurse were the best ever team I could have had tell me the bad news. No beating about the bush, just 'Yes you have cancer, and this is how we will deal with it'
I've decided to change the focus of my blog now. I'm still going to talk about beauty products,hair and nails, but there will he a very personal slant now. There may be somewhat of a dear diary feel to it and there WILL be days when I won't post, purely because I will feel too crap!
I'm probably going to tell you about the search for the comfiest post.-op bra, the best cleanser & moisturiser for burnt & irradiated skin, how to cope with crapped out chemo-face and gross shadows under my eyes.
And I want to hear from other fighters, cos that's what we are; not pansy ass victims, about how they cope, what happens when the hair falls, when the steroids give you moonface (not looking forwards to that- ulp)
I might not have all these treatments, but the nurse told me that as I'm young, the treatment WILL be very aggressive!!
I hope I don't upset anyone but I don't want you to file that mammogram appointment under 'must get around to sometime' or only have a feel when you remember. I couldn't feel my lump as it was buried in my ducts, but please, please have a good feel at least once a month, the week after your period as thats when they're not so naturally lumpy or sore. I had a letter inviting me for an early mammogram as they are now starting at 47 in Warwickshire, and it has literally saved my life as I would probably not survived an extra 3 years at the rate it's growing; 5cm when scanned last month and 6cm this week.
A final word, but by no means an afterthought; I got married on Monday to my long-term partner of 10 years, Colin and he is the love of my life. He is now, and will always be, my rock. I think of the practicalities and he deals with the emotions. I can never really vent or breakdown, but when I see him with tears in his eyes, it loosens the burden in my chest as if I have somehow transferred all my sorrow and pain over, leaving me free to deal with the physical crap. I do feel bad that he feels that he can't do anything, but he doesn't realise that he IS helping me. He gives me hugs when I need it, tells me that it won't matter about scars and an ugly boob and doesn't laugh at my silly ideas and fears.
My mum and family have all rallied around via text, phone and Skype from Cyprus, London, Glasgow & New Zealand. My new stepkids have sent me beautiful flowers. This is my Circle of Support and they will rally round and help brighten my life when things go dark.